Warning: Serious post below

I think I know what Bono meant when he sang “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.” I feel like I’m detached from society as a whole…severed off from civilization even. I go through each day the same: Get up, work out (most of the time), get ready, and go to work. After work activities vary, but usually consist of reading at Starbucks. Sometimes I’m with friends, and these times are good. I enjoy the community that is found with others, but as a whole, I feel like everything is surface level banter. I long for deep, significant conversation with others. I want to feel like there is more to this life than the commonplace. Even with close friends there is a lack of real depth, and when deep topics are discussed, it’s in a fleeting moment. I haven’t decided if this is because of me, or because this is how people have become in our day. I long for my heart to be connected to others…to know that my life is better because of someone and vice versa. Don’t take this wrong. The time I share with others is valuable to me. Maybe that’s why I’m not satisfied though, because I know it could be so much more. I want to expose my soul to others, to show them my inner self.
I think this is why God said in Genesis "It is not good for the man to be alone”. He didn’t say this so you would always have someone to wake up next to, or so you’d always have someone to enjoy dinner with. As humans we truly need someone to bare our soul to, someone with whom we can be completely honest. When you can’t do this you become trapped within yourself, wanting this part of you to break out. You need communion—and not just with Jesus Christ. We all know that Jesus is the friend that sticks “closer than a brother” but frankly, there are times when I don’t know what to say to Him, or just don’t know how to approach Him simply because of all He has done for me. From time to time I need to talk to someone just as defeated and scarred as I am.
I’m beginning to wonder if I can even recall a single conversation that would be described as meaningful. I know this occurred in Germany, and I know this has happened with a precious few of my friends, but it makes me sad to know how few times this has taken place.
Being single, I get asked a lot “why aren’t you married?” or “are you dating anyone?” etc…My typical response has something to do with how satisfied I am with my current friends/relationships and dating just means I have someone to share starry-eyed moments and kisses with. However, I need to withdraw this sarcastic retort, because dang, I do want those things too.